Tip of the Week! Words make all the difference!
Written by Carole Sacino, Turning Point Institute
What we say matters! How we say it matters! The WORDS we use matters! It can change your life where it matters!
There is a study out there (Mehrabian) that states that effective communications is 55% body language, 38% tonality, 7% words. This is important and well used data points for effective communications although research has shown that this data is based on a very small sample and used to measure just feelings and attitude of the speaker. Now that is very important too but not at the expense of the power of the WORD(s) we choose to use in creating our thoughts. Words have meaning and energy that affect how people feel, what you are saying, and how they are ultimately going to relate to the conversation or message.
I do believe with the way we communicate today via text, email, twitter, status updates and non-verbal modalities are WORDS move from 7% to 38% and tonality moves to 7% while body language remains the same since it still comes through the words we use on line. (Take a minute to observe your body language when you are crafting your message…this does come through on how you are feeling, the words you choose and what it is saying).
Most of what we say is not well thought out in advance especially the thoughts that pop into our head or the immediate response to something we know (we are operating at the unconscious level 95% of the time) so we go with it. Much of what we think about is “limiting” and creates low energy or negative outcomes that get in our way of desired outcomes.
Let’s look at a few examples of limited thoughts:
I can’t find time on the schedule for myself. I don’t have the ability to get it done. I know I won’t get that raise. It won’t happen. These are all negative outcomes! You can stop them by simply changing your internal self-talk and bring positive things into your life by reframing your statements to:
I AM …is the statement of who you are (I am competent and skilled)
I CAN…is the statement of your potential (I can make time on my schedule for me, it’s important to me)
I WILL …is the statement of the positive change in your life (I will get this raise, I deserve it)
I AM …. Are the two most powerful words you can use. I AM affirms positive action taken already.
AND (is another power word to use) It’s not or, if, but—it’s AND I— validates forward movement and positive energy
I AM living an abundantly full life and enjoying it!
Take Charge of Your Thoughts!
For those of you who know me relate to my constant focus and personal reminder on “what we think about comes about” and my favorite saying “what you focus on grows bigger." Whether it's positive or negative it will arrive and it takes the same energy and effort to think…so why not choose the positive word that creates the positive thought for a positive outcome.
Exercise for the week: Become mindful of what you are thinking about and how you can reframe it in a positive way. If you say something that doesn’t feel good, pause, reflect and reframe it. It only just takes a moment to make the shift and it’s these moments that matter in how our life is created. A positive shift can change and have a huge impact in simply starting your day, conversing with a friend or taking the first step in making a life change. YOU are in charge of it and YOU can start right now changing the outcome at a moment’s notice.
Example: Way too many emails and deadlines and I don’t have the time to add anything else to my plate. Can’t they see I am overwhelmed and overworked now! I don’t want to do this anymore! I won’t keep staying late after today…that’s it! I want to run away!
Reframe: Oh great, another batch of emails that are just going to have to be prioritized if they are to get done. I will take a few minutes and schedule the must get done items first and get to the others when I can. I am grateful to have a job and I am going to make changes so that it works better for me.
Starting tomorrow, I am making the commitment to leave work at a decent hour and start adding the important things back into my schedule. I am feeling better already!
For additional resources go to: www.turningpointinstitute.com
